MARRIAGE AS A BUSINESS
Hmm marriage lol. First of all, I must confess that I am a hopeless romantic, I love love shamelessly, I mean I kept screaming watching Dwayne Johnson who absolutely Rocks by the way, I screamed as I watched him jump to a burning skyscraper to save his family, I was scared, I hate seeing blood and people suffering but all of that feeling were replaced with joy and my teary eyes lit up when he reconnected with his family and kissed his beautiful, smart ass wife.
I am at that age when I cannot avoid the marriage thoughts, because even if I am not actively thinking about it, it comes my way either from nosy relatives, friends inviting me for their weddings and marketing their asoebi to me, the unending gender wars and whatnot on social media, etc. I know I love love, I know I love the idea of having that special someone but in reality, marriage scares me A LOT!
I've seen so many terrible marriages to not want to be a part of it but I also love stability, I love to be organized, I love family and all of those cute things and sincerely believe marriage is like flight, we don't hear about flights till there is a crash. I like to believe there are good marriages out there.
One other fear that leaves knots in my throat is when I see genuine concerns about having a successful marriage/home and a stellar career. Maybe I am Oliver twist but I want best of both worlds. I have ambition shooting off the roofs and would do everything humanly possible to see my dreams come alive, to live and not just exist, to go through life providing solutions to problems and imparting lives and at the same time, I want a successful marriage and home.
I love the idea of couples working independently and then as a team to achieve a greater goal, I know I'm not an island, maybe this is why I'm such a fan girl of (wo)men who I see holding it down both ways even though I know it is so much HARD WORK but it works. I saw the trailer of Castle and castle showing on EbonylifeTV where Richard Mofe-Damijo grabbed Dakore who I assume is his on screen wife after a deal saying "I see success makes you horny", I blushed lol because that is so me.
And because I know this is something that will happen eventually, that is if I live long enough, I thought of another way to look at marriage - As a BUSINESS..
What if we saw the church or court room or traditional wedding venue as a board room? What if we saw those dotted lines as a business deal, the marriage certificate as our business registration certificate? What if we saw marriage more as a business partnership than as love partnership? Love is never enough anyway and maybe that doesn't make sense but I have been in business for three years now, I have put sweat and time, tears, money and done so much to bring my business where it is today, best believe that if I am going to get a partner for my business, there is a lot that I will consider and potential partner should consider.
If I am going to have a partner for my business, the person must let me know his or her personal goals, what they want for themselves and then their expectations from our partnership and team goals.
I have not gotten to that stage of relationship where marriage is being discussed but I do wonder if people talk about their personal goals and aspirations, what they want to achieve as a couple and eventually as a family.
You are first an individual before being part of a couple and inevitably a family. I am of the belief that a dysfunctional person that cannot function properly as a unit will make it difficult in partnership and as a team member.
Personal goals help you with direction, you have a plan and know what you want, you may not be able to control the universe but you are on a course and have a destination, with directions you will eventually get there no matter how long it takes and at times, might have to change routes to get there. It is different when you have no plan or direction or destination in mind.
When there is a goal being worked towards, it is easier to assign duties. In business, there is an operations manager, there is a marketing manager, a brand manager, logistics and the likes. Every member of the team is key to the longevity and efficacy of the business.
Going by this logic, you and your partner get to focus on your individual strengths rather than your weaknesses because a fantastic operations manager might be terrible at marketing while the perfect marketing manager might be a financially reckless individual.
My point is every human is flawed including you. If a partner or team member does not feel appreciated or useful to the team, that person will not function properly. Likewise, if one person in a business partnership feels he or she is doing the most work without the partner contributing much, there will be a problem and resentment will set in.
This happens in our relationships also, the difference is that in business, the partners talk about this - COMMUNICATION! They go back to the drawing board and think of ways to work together to making the business grow and be successful. With a plan, it is easy to go back to the drawing board to assess how well you have achieved for yourself, with your partner and as a family.
With a clear cut plan, dedication and commitment to your goal, looking at marriage as if you are signing the biggest business deal of your life, instead of the concert dance by the butterflies in your stomach, marriage might just be a not so bad thing after all.
Actually marriage is your biggest business deal ever, some people call it your biggest career choice ever but one thing is certain, your spouse is your most important co-founder. Those dotted lines you sign can either make or mar you.
And like business partnerships, when it is not working out after all the effort, you can always pull the plug and move on. No one should hold on to a business partnership that isn't working.
I am at that age when I cannot avoid the marriage thoughts, because even if I am not actively thinking about it, it comes my way either from nosy relatives, friends inviting me for their weddings and marketing their asoebi to me, the unending gender wars and whatnot on social media, etc. I know I love love, I know I love the idea of having that special someone but in reality, marriage scares me A LOT!
I've seen so many terrible marriages to not want to be a part of it but I also love stability, I love to be organized, I love family and all of those cute things and sincerely believe marriage is like flight, we don't hear about flights till there is a crash. I like to believe there are good marriages out there.
One other fear that leaves knots in my throat is when I see genuine concerns about having a successful marriage/home and a stellar career. Maybe I am Oliver twist but I want best of both worlds. I have ambition shooting off the roofs and would do everything humanly possible to see my dreams come alive, to live and not just exist, to go through life providing solutions to problems and imparting lives and at the same time, I want a successful marriage and home.
I love the idea of couples working independently and then as a team to achieve a greater goal, I know I'm not an island, maybe this is why I'm such a fan girl of (wo)men who I see holding it down both ways even though I know it is so much HARD WORK but it works. I saw the trailer of Castle and castle showing on EbonylifeTV where Richard Mofe-Damijo grabbed Dakore who I assume is his on screen wife after a deal saying "I see success makes you horny", I blushed lol because that is so me.
And because I know this is something that will happen eventually, that is if I live long enough, I thought of another way to look at marriage - As a BUSINESS..
What if we saw the church or court room or traditional wedding venue as a board room? What if we saw those dotted lines as a business deal, the marriage certificate as our business registration certificate? What if we saw marriage more as a business partnership than as love partnership? Love is never enough anyway and maybe that doesn't make sense but I have been in business for three years now, I have put sweat and time, tears, money and done so much to bring my business where it is today, best believe that if I am going to get a partner for my business, there is a lot that I will consider and potential partner should consider.
If I am going to have a partner for my business, the person must let me know his or her personal goals, what they want for themselves and then their expectations from our partnership and team goals.
I have not gotten to that stage of relationship where marriage is being discussed but I do wonder if people talk about their personal goals and aspirations, what they want to achieve as a couple and eventually as a family.
You are first an individual before being part of a couple and inevitably a family. I am of the belief that a dysfunctional person that cannot function properly as a unit will make it difficult in partnership and as a team member.
Personal goals help you with direction, you have a plan and know what you want, you may not be able to control the universe but you are on a course and have a destination, with directions you will eventually get there no matter how long it takes and at times, might have to change routes to get there. It is different when you have no plan or direction or destination in mind.
When there is a goal being worked towards, it is easier to assign duties. In business, there is an operations manager, there is a marketing manager, a brand manager, logistics and the likes. Every member of the team is key to the longevity and efficacy of the business.
Going by this logic, you and your partner get to focus on your individual strengths rather than your weaknesses because a fantastic operations manager might be terrible at marketing while the perfect marketing manager might be a financially reckless individual.
My point is every human is flawed including you. If a partner or team member does not feel appreciated or useful to the team, that person will not function properly. Likewise, if one person in a business partnership feels he or she is doing the most work without the partner contributing much, there will be a problem and resentment will set in.
This happens in our relationships also, the difference is that in business, the partners talk about this - COMMUNICATION! They go back to the drawing board and think of ways to work together to making the business grow and be successful. With a plan, it is easy to go back to the drawing board to assess how well you have achieved for yourself, with your partner and as a family.
With a clear cut plan, dedication and commitment to your goal, looking at marriage as if you are signing the biggest business deal of your life, instead of the concert dance by the butterflies in your stomach, marriage might just be a not so bad thing after all.
Actually marriage is your biggest business deal ever, some people call it your biggest career choice ever but one thing is certain, your spouse is your most important co-founder. Those dotted lines you sign can either make or mar you.
And like business partnerships, when it is not working out after all the effort, you can always pull the plug and move on. No one should hold on to a business partnership that isn't working.
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